An Interview With a Wine Snob: The Lasting Effects of Being Picked on at the Playground

Last week I was listening to NPR (I AM A HUGE NERD) and I caught an interview on this show called "The Splendid Table" with Lynne Rossetto Kasper. She was interviewing a famous wine writer, Matt Kramer, from the Wine Spectator (guide to all snootiness, self-congratulatory writing, and wine-snobbery...oops, did I say that?). I was about to run into the gym, but M.C. Ice and I had a driveway moment and stayed in my car for 6 minutes to listen to the interview.

I'm so glad I did. It's always nice to have some validation for my blog/business name...

Matt Kramer is a smart dude. He knows a butt-load about wine and he's got great ideas. But he MUST have been the kid that was picked on in the playground. I don't know how else you become such a pretentious, snobby, need-to-let-everyone-know-how-great-you-are guy. In this interview, Matt touched on a couple of things and, to my surprise, I agreed with everything he said. He's smart, he's an expert, I respect him for it. But the way he expressed his ideas just made my blood boil and my teeth gnash.

For example...

Matt talks about the polarization in the wine industry -- how it's divided into two camps these days. Of course, because everyone will understand these terms without explanation (NOT!), he calls these camps: "The Wines of Fear" and "The Wines of Conviction." I mean, that's great writing, no? You get it right away, right? Um, not so much. I feel like I'm listening to a political ad. He must of consulted with Obama's speech writer.

In plain English, the dude was saying
Wines of Fear = Big Corporate Wines that Try to Appeal to Lots of People to Move Wine/Make Cash and


Wines of Conviction = Little Producers that Love Making Wine and Hope Someone Buys It

I know we all like pithy catch-phrases, but c'mon. Isn't wine a vast, complex, and confusing enough topic? Must we layer on these meaningless, bullshit phrases rather than saying what we mean? In this instance, it's a simple enough concept. There are huge conglomerates that make kind of soul-less wine (but they also sometimes make great stuff too, BTW) and then there are little wineries that make kick-ass wine that we want to support when we can. Most of us do both, and we know the difference.

My problem is not with the idea -- it's patently true. I see it all the more clearly, especially because I worked for a monstrous winery and felt many of the wines were homogenized and tasted similar to each other because "the suits" were pandering to the common denominator in the market. My problem is the pretense and this need to label everything with 'winespeak' in over-annunciated diction that turns so many people OFF to wine. There is absolutely no normalcy in those labels or way of speaking. It's an exercise in superiority and condescension.

Further, this guy really has been living under a rock for a long time and living the good life. He chortles (yes, chortles) at the fact that he served an $8 Spanish Cava (sparking wine, awesome!) at his "not exactly low-rent" dinner party (he had to slip that in so we know he was hob-knobbing) and that his guests adored it. Don't the rest of us know that we can get great wines for $8? That's what this blog is mainly about! Why is he laughing that he "got-away" with serving an $8 bottle? He should probably be embarrassed that it was better than the $90 bottle he served later on!

I feel bad panning on the guy -- after all, he's someone's son, someone's friend, maybe someone's husband. So I'd like to say I'm using him as kind of a symbol. Like so many in the wine industry, he's really intelligent and makes great points, but my issue with him and people like him is that wine HAS democratized. It's not his and his "high-rent" buddies' game anymore, yet his affect, his manner, his condescension remind me of all the things that bug me about the wine industry. Everyone's a snot from time to time, but in the world of wine, there's no need to create this off-putting, snide, exclusionary way of speak and being -- Normal People don't need it and we shouldn't take it...not that I have an opinion on the matter.

Please listen to the interview and let me know what you think.